The one place where marital fidelity is most intimate is the
BEDROOM is often treated as a storeroom for clutter. Instead, the bedroom
should be a place where love and romance are cultivated, encouraged, and
celebrated. This is the ONE ROOM where you and your spouse can enjoy the
relationship that God created for you to share, so there should be special
attention paid to it.
Women are especially affected by the state of the bedroom
because they feel connected to the home in a personal way. We often see the
home as an extension of our personalities and style. The colors, wall
decorations, furniture, pictures, etc., are all selected based on what we want
others to know about us.
Put away clutter.
Everyone has them—stacks of bills,
coupons, random newsletters that haven't been read … the list goes on. And
since you don't want to forget about them (or maybe you just don't know where
to store them), the default system is to make a stack on the dresser or CHEST
OF DRAWERS in your bedroom. Perhaps the dirty laundry has found a gathering
place on the floor next to the bed. And all those pictures, candlesticks,
decorations, and children's painting that you are planning to find a place for
have found their way to the tops of your bedroom furniture.
If you want a romantic bedroom, all of this clutter must go
somewhere else. To help de-clutter, put large items in a BOX and store them in
the hall closet or under the bed, and stack loose papers in tall baskets, preferably
with lids, that can double as hiding spaces and decor.
By simply straightening up the room, you'll be less burdened
without the constant reminders of looming projects and feel more relaxed.
Don't use your bedroom as storage.
This is similar to the
previous suggestion, except this is a more permanent problem. As much as
possible, remove stored items from your room. This requires an investment of
time. Take a day to sort through the stored items and decide which need to be
put away in their proper place, given away or sold, or moved someplace else for
continued storage. Then take advantage of hidden spaces in your house to store
the leftover items. Use places such as:
Space under beds. Invest in storage boxes that are made to
fit under the bed and roll for easy access. If you are storing toys and
children's clothing, utilize this space in children's rooms, as well.
Trunks. Depending on the size, trunks can double as tables
and/or decorations in a bedroom or living area. It gives both an aesthetic
value and a practical one.
Baskets. This is another valuable de-cluttering item. You
can fill baskets with storage and put them on a bookshelf or under tables as
decorations.
Choose colors that soothe.
The color scheme you choose for
your bedroom is as IMPORTANT as the decorations. The reason is that colors have
a way of connecting with emotions. Sharon Hanby-Robie and Deb Strubel, authors
of Beautiful Places, Spiritual Spaces write, "Decorate your home with the
colors you and your family love. It doesn't matter what the latest trends are
or what the FASHIONgurus think. What does matter is that you love your home and
that your choices make sense for you and your family."
If you don't know what colors and styles you like, start
looking through home magazines and catalogs. Tear out the pages that have
colors and designs you are drawn to. Soon, you will begin to see a pattern
develop, and you can use these ideas to decorate your own bedroom.
Use decorations to remind you of special memories.
Frame and
display photos from your wedding and honeymoon, or from other special times together. Frame a copy of your wedding vows. They will
remind you of how your love blossoms and grows over the years.
Take out the television. Spending time in front of the
television keeps the attention off of your lives and onto shadows of life.
Before you know it, your time together before bed slips away through the world
of media. Bob DeMoss, author of T.V.: The Great Escape, wrote, "I am
convinced that the simple decision to unplug TV [even] for just one month has
the power to revolutionize our relationships with our spouse, our children, our
world, and most IMPORTANTLY with our God." Just by the simple act of
removing the TV, you open up free time to reconnect with your spouse in a
special way without distractions.
Play romantic music. There is something in music that can
make or break the mood in a room. In his book A Minute of Margin, Dr. Richard
A. Swenson writes, "We can't explain what [music] is, where it comes from,
or why it works. One person warbles her vocal chords while another blows on his
pipe—and somehow it soothes. Music is free, is equally available to every
person, and has a powerful healing effect on the human spirit."
Whether you use a full stereo set with surround sound, or
simple iPod speakers, find a way to play music in your bedroom. Choose a
variety of music that soothes both you and your spouse, whether it's a collection
of standards, classical, or soft rock, and don't forget to include songs that
carry special meanings and memories. Make it a habit of putting on your
favorite tunes to both relax and create a loving mood.
Wear an attitude to match.
A beautiful bedroom only provides
half the romance. If you give your spouse the cold shoulder, or use the bedroom
to manipulate to get what you want, it will not be the warm place of love that
it was meant to be. Work to make your time in the bedroom a time of building up
your marriage emotionally and spiritually. Pray together regularly, avoid
getting into conflicts before bedtime, and make efforts to communicate in
loving ways. If you practice these things, no matter how your bedroom looks to
the eye, the heart will recognize it as a place of true love.
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